A Guide to Self-Healing: 10 Steps to Loving Yourself Again

I bet there’s a lot going on in your life right now. There may be dozens of things to do every day, a new job, relationship, maybe a bad thing happened recently, or there’s something new you have to invest time in.

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No matter what it is, people always find a way to make themselves look and sound busy, even if they aren’t. But as a result, they do something much worse – they say no to their true desires and emotions, reject the power of self-healing and rarely find time for themselves to contemplate and reach a state of peace.

I often notice more and more people around me neglecting themselves because of something else. And that’s a terrible thing to do.

I’m describing the big picture here. It could be about anyone – of any age, status, social group and so on. It may be a really busy person, as well as one that has a lot of free time. It may be a peaceful and happy one, or a stressed and negative one.

At some point we stopped taking care of ourselves. And because of that everything else gets ruined – relationships, mood, attitude towards life, motivation, level of happiness, a desire to do new things, etc.

We forget to ask ourselves if a certain thing is okay with us, we stop taking chances and looking for ways to improve, we stop doing things for ourselves, we stop trying to reach our goals and neglect our dreams. In other words, we say no to self-healing and self-love.

Instead, we do the opposite. We say things we don’t mean, we do things we don’t enjoy, we live by someone else’s standards and we follow the path society thinks is the right one.

Almost every problem we have in our life comes from discontent and most often with not being okay with who we are.

But we can never move on and have good relationships with other people if we don’t fix the one we have with ourselves first.

If you’ve decided to become a happy person and have embraced the joy of life and the things you’re thankful for, you will also need to accept yourself for who you are. It’s an inevitable part of your journey.

So here’s what you can do to practice self-healing and start loving yourself again.

Self-Healing Techniques to Help You Fix Your Relationship with Yourself

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
Stacey Charter

The solution to healing yourself lies in simplicity. I’ve listed some easy ways to start taking care of yourself again and live the life you deserve.

It’s not that we don’t know the following things… it’s just that with everything else going on we keep them in the background. And we need to be constantly reminded of them.

So here is a simple guide to the easy steps (in no particular order) that can help you with self-healing:

Live daringly, boldly, fearlessly quote

1. Accept yourself.

Most often the problem is that we don’t accept the person we are now. However, we have many other versions of the person we want to be, and we occasionally think of the person we used to be. That makes things even worse as we’re concentrating on unreal situations and thus lower our opinion of ourselves as we will never answer the expectations we have for the future us.

So let’s take a moment every now and then to accept ourselves for who we are. With our good and bad sides, with our past failures and mistakes. Let’s understand that this is exactly who we need to be at this moment and we are perfect.

Only then can we aim to achieve more and become another version of ourselves. Probably a better one. And then accept it again.

Related: How to Feel Good About Yourself

2. Don’t give up on what’s important to you.

Big dreams take time to come true. But if we stay motivated, have a definite desire and make an effort every day, they eventually become reality.

Unfortunately, we give up on them long before that moment has come. And then we feel disappointed of ourselves, we become full of regrets and will always think “What could it be like if we had kept working on our goal and achieved it?”. And that worsens the relationship we have with ourselves.

I urge you to keep what’s important to you. To cherish your goals, dreams and desires and spend time, energy and effort on them every now and then. Even if you don’t make big progress, you’re staying true to yourself and practicing self-healing.

Related: How to Accomplish Goals Faster Than You Can Imagine

3. Forgive yourself.

You may have failed. It may be you who caused something bad to happen, broke someone’s heart and left something you wanted incomplete. But living with the guilt, with that awful feeling of having made a mistake, is just harmful to your soul.

I’ve always said that one of the best qualities someone can acquire is the ability to easily forgive people no matter what they’ve done. It’s really hard, but this way you’re not only letting them live in peace, but also letting go of what has happened and moving on without the burden of the past.

The same applies to you when you’ve done something wrong. Don’t carry that emotional baggage with you in your future. There is just no point. That will only prevent you from living happily.

Forgiving yourself means being free from the regrets and disappointment that go along with your past mistakes. It means turning over a new leaf, giving yourself a chance to show the world how great you are and receiving the opportunity to do remarkable things with your life.

4. Don’t try to impress others.

I think everyone needs to see that for himself, but the sooner you realize it, the better. I’m talking about what other people think of you, whether they like you or not, and answering their expectations.

All that is a lost cause. You can spend years trying to make everyone like you and even when you become the perfect version of what society wants, there will still be a part of it that won’t approve you.

It’s just that there are so many people out there and everyone is completely unique, with his our understanding of the world. So stop trying to impress them and do what you like instead. Wear what you think looks good on you, behave the way you want and try to impress yourself only by being happier.

Related: How to Let Go of The Need for Approval to Start Thriving

5. Listen to yourself.

That’s a bit similar to the previous item because we often find other people’s opinion of us to be more important than our own. And then our actions are a result of it.

That is a wrong way to live life and I think it would be much better if we listened to ourselves more often. That’s a wonderful self-healing process.

6. Be kind to yourself.

Don’t be too harsh! If you have failed, it’s okay. Accept it and move on.

If something hasn’t turned out the way you expected, it’s okay and probably wasn’t even under your control.

If you’ve cheated on your diet, just call it a day and make it a reward for what you’ve already achieved.

If you’ve disappointed yourself, get over it. You’ll do better next time.

Being kind to yourself is as important as forgiving. They are both processes that define what the relationship with your true self will be. And things will be brighter in the future if you make it a good one.

Related: 10 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

7. Trust yourself.

Make and keep the promises you make to yourself.

Losing trust in yourself usually occurs after failing in developing a new habit many times, procrastinating or not doing something important to you. You realize it’s all your fault because no outer factors play any role here.

You start criticizing yourself, lowering your self-esteem and lacking motivation to try new things because you think you’ll fail again.

Then it’s time to regain that trust and build the self-healing skill of turning each failure into a success.

You need to stop listening to the critical voice in your head for a start. It’s not right simply because it blames you for your failures, whereas they are just external events showing that your system is wrong. The solution is to let past mistakes go and try again another way. Success is just around the corner.

8. Understand yourself.

Try to figure out the ‘why’ behind everything. Why you do what you do is an important thing to know so that you get to know yourself better.

Notice your thoughts and follow them. Analyze your desires and needs. Try to understand your behavior and then you’ll be able to be in harmony with it.

9. Appreciate yourself.

Be grateful for who you are. It took you a lot of time, hardships and experience to come to where you are. So appreciate your efforts and enjoy the person you’ve become.

10. Love yourself.

Simply love yourself. You choose whether you’ll always be wishing you were someone else and trying to hide your true nature, or rejoice it and make the best of it.

So that’s how you practice self-healing in daily life and learn to feel worthy again.

Lidiya K

Lidiya K

Author, blogger and podcaster in the fields of self-improvement and life hacking. Creator of Let's Reach Success.
Full-time freelance writer. Lifestyle designer.
Lidiya K

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