There are many sorts of lies we tell ourselves.
Some are innocent – we tell them to protect someone because we think it’s better if he doesn’t know about it, or because they can hurt many people. Others are even less damaging – we don’t want to burden others with our problems and tell them we’re fine, or when we want our child to have the last piece of cake we say we don’t want it.
But the worst lies are the ones we tell to ourselves.
Separately, they’re small and insignificant, but after we keep repeating them for years, they become a part of our days and we start believing them, things get bad.
We start living in this illusion of being someone we’re not, doing stuff we don’t like, fearing things that can never actually happen, and much more.
We destroy our peace and emotional freedom and start living in our own prison. This also affects every other person we care about.
Here are the lies we tell ourselves and what to do about them:
1. “I’m fine.”
It’s alright to say it when you don’t want to worry your mother, children or friends. But it’s much worse when you start telling it to yourself.
I’m talking about people who have many problems, and instead of doing something about them, they convince themselves that they’re okay and everything is in order.
But the problems don’t go away. They are just hidden behind this lie, and often get bigger and bigger until one day your world collapses.
What you need to do is be brave and face reality.
You’re a normal human being and even if you’re doing everything right, problems occur. You need to deal with them right away so that you can keep living your life and going after your goals with peace of mind.
Related: What Makes Us Unhappy
2. “I don’t need him/her, I’m better off alone.”
We often push the person we care about away because we think it’s easier not to fall in love and show feelings.
But we end up alone, whether we want it or not. And because the lies we tell ourselves can’t go on forever, things get depressing.
I know we’re all secretly afraid of being hurt and thus decide not to have anything to do with this person, because this way he can’t leave us and break our heart.
But you miss out on one of the most beautiful and amazing experiences life offers you – being in love, having someone special to count on.
It’s okay to be vulnerable every now and then. Others are scared of being hurt too, but life keeps going and you never know if you’re not saying ‘no’ to your soulmate.
So admit it: you need him/her and you’re not better off alone.
Go out there and tell someone you love him. After all, even if he rejects you, you don’t lose anything you actually had before. But if he feels the same way, you get more than you expected.
3. “I don’t need to change. That’s just who I am.”
To some extent that’s true.
But often we say that about our bad habits, when we’ve done something we regret and feel more comfortable to just blame our personality than to actually change.
Most of the times that’s because people don’t really believe that they can change. But they can. It’s in our nature. We’re adaptive and when we don’t like something about ourselves, we can change it.
That’s how we grow, evolve and thrive. And when we stop doing it, we stop moving forward in life too.
So the next time you forget to do something, offend someone, complain too much, are negative, procrastinate, hurt someone, or else, remember that this is just something temporary and you can go back to being the great, compassionate and successful human being you’re meant to be.
4. “I can’t do it.”
Here I’m not even going to give any examples. I’ll just tell you that you actually can.
The word can’t is one of the worst lies we tell ourselves and something we must remove from our vocabulary if we want to develop a powerful mindset.
But you’re not wrong when you say that lie. Whatever it is that you believe you can or can’t do, you’re right. Because that becomes your truth.
After all, we all live in our own version of this world and how stuff works.
But one thing is sure – you can do more than you think you’re capable of. Many men before you have proved that. And many more will.
The easiest way to realize that the thing you consider impossible is not so hard to do, is to let go of past failures, fears, doubts, uncertainties and worries, and just give it a try.
Related: How to Unleash Your Potential
5. “I don’t deserve to be happy.”
Happiness is absolutely free, and the universe has a lot of it. Everyone can have as much as they want, and the more they share it with others, the more it gets.
That’s how things work.
Even if you’ve done something bad, you deserve a second chance. You can become a better person, help others, and be happier than you’ve ever imagined.
But the first step is to stop telling yourself such lies and understand that you’re worth it and can be happy again.
Related: The Happiness Formula
6. “Now is not the right time.”
Say that a few times and eventually ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.
The truth is that there’s no better time to do what you want than now. You never know what the future has in store.
This moment is full of opportunities – you can tell someone you love him, get stuff done, go after your goals, call someone, start working on something you’ve been putting off for a long time, say sorry, stop smoking, start exercising, read that book, watch that movie, go out, and so on.
Later may never come and all those things you have to say may remain unsaid, and your life can remain unlived. Are you really ready to take such a risk?
These are just some of the lies we tell ourselves daily. As you can guess, there are many versions of them.
This behavior is self-destructive as we ruin our chances to change, turn our dreams into reality and live a better life.
Only by admitting that we’re lying, noticing when we do it and trying to replace the lies with positive statements, can we embrace freedom and be ready to show the world what we’re capable of.
What about you? Can you think of other lies we tell ourselves?
Full-time freelance writer. Lifestyle designer.
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