How to Stop Trying to Change Someone in 9 Steps

Most people are trying to change someone in their life all the time. Unfortunately, that’s a wrong approach and ends bad. Here’s why.

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Trying to change others is an awful thing to do.

We live with an ideal of how another person must behave and whenever he doesn’t do what we expect, we’re disappointed.

We don’t let him be who he is and try hard to change him. But when we do, he becomes another person and is different from the one we loved/became friends with/ had something in common with.
And we’re still not satisfied.

So let’s see how we can turn that process around and have great relationships:

This is a guest post I wrote for PickTheBrain.
See the original here.

Why You Should Stop Trying to Change Others

1. Ditch the ideals.

Trying to change someone means you want to turn this person into something else you have in mind about him. But it has nothing to do with who he wants to be, so you’re basically making it all about you.

Let go of that and you two will be free to have a healthy relationship.

Related: How to Stop Expecting and Trying to Change People

2. Embrace their individuality.

The people in your life are unique. Respect that, appreciate it and accept it.

3. Focus on the good in them.

Everything in life is a matter of choice. So instead of constantly thinking about other people’s flaws and trying to change them, see their good sides and be happy about that.

4. Try to understand what they’re going through.

Put yourself in their shoes and you’ll be able to see the world through their eyes and stop judging and trying to turn them into someone they’re not.

5. Show compassion.

The best way to show understanding, love and acceptance is through compassion. This will help both you and the other person no matter what the situation is.

6. Thank for having them in your life.

Every now and then you should stop and appreciate the fact that these people are in your life. Imagine what it would be without them in it.

This will help you enjoy their company instead of trying to change them.

7. Remember why they were important to you in the first place.

8. Show unconditional acceptance.

Accept every single thing about them and smile about it. It’s what makes them who they are, and you choose to have them in your life.

Once you truly understand that, you won’t need to be trying to change someone anymore.

9. Don’t compare.

No two people are alike.

When embracing their individuality, stop comparing too.

Related: What Not to Do in a Relationship

What about the people in your life? Are you trying to change someone? What can you do to stop that?

Lidiya K

Lidiya K

Author, blogger and podcaster in the fields of self-improvement and life hacking. Creator of Let's Reach Success.
Full-time freelance writer. Lifestyle designer.
Lidiya K

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