Many people wonder whether they should tell their big goals and plans in life to others.
It depends, of course, but what I can say is how I handle this.
I choose not to tell others what I’m working on.
And there are some good reasons why I do this:
1. People jump to conclusions.
Once you share your ideas, even if it’s something you think might work and are just planning to do some day, people will start connecting you to it.
Now when they see you, they’ll be asking how it’s going.
That means too much pressure, considering you don’t really want them to know every single detail of the project, as it’s just not important to them.
2. They won’t really know what you’re talking about.
Whatever it is that you’re working on, whatever your big plan for the future is, whatever ways of making money you’ve found, it’s something you’ve researched, thought through, analyzed and this has been growing in your head for some time.
Mentioning it in front of others can’t even give them a vague idea of what you’re actually talking about.
So, if you ask me, it’s better left unsaid.
Digital nomads are the best example. They quit their jobs, leave everything behind, and go to another continent to work on something they’re passionate about. Which is great and works pretty fine if that’s your calling.
But for every other person in their lives, it’s just a sign of going crazy. Often people assume that these individuals don’t know what they want to do with their life and just chose to leave it behind and move to another place.
They pity them, worry about them, try to change their mind, and almost never actually try to understand them.
When, in fact, these people are following their dreams (like the story of Roc I shared a few days ago), doing what they love, making money from it, trying new stuff in life, having a direction and being in peace.
And these are all things the average person has never tried.
3. People will expect too much.
Try saying you want to make money online once, or that you’re planning on working a better job in a year, and if that doesn’t happen any time soon, or the amount of money or improvement isn’t impressive, people will consider you a failure.
And you may start feeling like one.
Which is awful and may make you give up.
But, actually, it all means that you haven’t found what really works yet, haven’t created a system, haven’t been patient enough.
Life-changing goals take time, a lot of effort, many sacrifices and working much harder that you’re used to.
And if you try to skip any of these, the results will come much later.
So for now, don’t share it with others. They will expect too much. And that will bring pressure in your life.
4. People judge.
People will judge you no matter what. We all know that.
Even if they like us, there will be a few that don’t approve, that disagree with what we say, think and do.
But when we start dreaming bigger, when people start seeing us changing, they start judging even more.
They criticize, want to know more, get involved in our goals, and take our energy.
They do it not because of us, but because they have their own issues. That shouldn’t be taken personally. But still, it’s unnecessary.
So you can save yourself and them unneeded worries and stress by just keeping your dreams to yourself for now.
5. They get jealous.
You’ve probably seen a really inspiring story somewhere on the Internet. About people who achieved a lot, became rich, made a dream of theirs a reality, fell in love and traveled the world together, or else.
It’s usually a beautiful story, with breath-taking pictures. And we smile in front of the screen and secretly wish we were like them.
And your scroll to the bottom and see the first comments. And they are awful.
These are the haters. What they say is usually meaningless, and the jealousy can be felt from afar.
After all, they are at the office working a job they hate and being average, while some people are not only happy, living the dream and doing what they love, but also famous because of that.
And the only thing they can do is leave a comment.
Sadly, these are also the comments that get most likes.
But that’s another story.
So the point is that people are jealous. And if they are in your surroundings, you’ll feel the negative energy. Which is something that can only make you feel bad, and maybe even feel sorry for others.
But if you look at it from another point of view, here’s what you’re doing:
You’re sharing your dream with your friends. Some of them are so dissatisfied with their lives and don’t want to see others being happy because this only reminds them of how powerless, weak, indecisive, average and lazy they are.
And instead of supporting you, they become more miserable, and thus make you feel bad.
Is all that necessary? Of course not.
6. They distract you from your goal.
Once they learn that you’re working on something, they’re interested.
They want to know more, to see your work, to know how it works.
They also say what they think about it. Start talking about what they’ve heard about others doing the same thing, and so on.
All that becomes a distraction.
And even if they are friendly and just curious, it becomes a burden for you as it takes your attention away.
And as we all know, our goal deserves all our attention. If we aren’t completely focused, we won’t get much done.
So these are the main reasons why I don’t share personal goals (especially big ones) with the people in my life.
What’s your approach?
Full-time freelance writer. Lifestyle designer.
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