How to Live in a Non-Understanding World

Not long ago I was constantly feeling misunderstood. I blamed others, felt alone in my endeavors and thought it was unfair.
I was playing the role of a victim and often missed opportunities or got depressed because no one seemed to understand me.

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Some of you may have felt the same way at some point in their lives. Not being understood can be an awful thing once you focus on it and if you let it take control, it will prevent you from following your dreams.

But then I realized a few other aspects of life:

  • there are all kinds of people and many won’t understand you the same way others won’t like you or approve your decisions;
  • like-minded people are out there, you just need to look somewhere else;
  • not having people with the same goals and desires doesn’t make you alone, they still love you, you just have another path to walk that is different from theirs;
  • the world is definitely not responsible for that, neither are those who don’t understand you. It’s a natural thing and you don’t need to blame or judge;
  • you’re not alone – many of the world’s geniuses, and the ones who created the masterpieces we admire today, had no one to encourage them and were often considered crazy. But that didn’t stop them;
  • you can achieve whatever you’re after in life even without any support.

And here are the ways to deal with people who show no understanding:

What to Do When No One Understands You?

1. Walk in their shoes.

Other people have problems too, often bigger than yours.
They have things to worry about, things to do, others to look after and many other things we don’t know about.

So instead of waiting for them to understand you, why don’t you try to understand them? To consider what’s going on in their lives, and help them.

2. Ditch the expectations.

You feel bad when you’re not understood simply because you expect others to understand you.

But think about it – who said that another human being, with its unique and totally different way of thinking, is supposed to agree with what you say or do, and even understand and support you.

When you get rid of expecting others to behave and treat you in a certain way, you will no longer be disappointed in their actions and reactions to what you do.

3. Accept.

I love acceptance. Once you see a situation through it, everything is okay.

Accept the people in your life as they are. Then you won’t expect anything from them.
If they don’t agree with you life choices, be okay with that. Because it doesn’t really matter even if they did.

After all, you want certain things, do something about them, and fail or succeed. And others have nothing to do with it.

Accept the fact that the world is a mixture of all kinds of people. Whatever you do, there will always be someone to disagree and many will not understand you.

4. Stick to your beliefs.

Under no condition, should you stop taking actions upon your dreams, passion and goals only because you’re not being understood by people in your surroundings.

Try to look at the bigger picture, visualize your dream as if it has already happened. Then you’ll remember why you started working on it at the first place and will see that it matters.

Also, most probably once you achieve it, others will see it has always been worth it.

5. Understand yourself.

As long as you do that, you won’t feel the need for others to understand you too. Your own approval is the only thing you need to keep going after your goals. You’re the only one who knows what is the right thing to do.

Having a good relationship with yourself consists of not lying to yourself, accepting, loving, caring for and appreciating who you are. If you can do that, you can also be in peace on the inside and that is all you need to succeed.

Inner peace is the highest happiness and no other person can do anything to ruin it.

6. Compassion.

Show compassion towards everyone you meet on your journey because you never know what they’ve been through to get here.

Often the ones that don’t understand you are also not understood. Maybe they just need someone to tell them that everything is going to be just fine, to listen to them, send them love, appreciation and show them respect.
Once they feel understood, they’ll be able to open their heart, to be aware of other people’s desire for approval and to be more supportive.

7. Let go.

Letting go is a great thing to do as it sets you free and lets you experience life and enjoy it.

Let go of the need to be understood – because not meeting it causes you suffering, of the expectations, judging others, blaming the world or society, worries, fears, etc.

Instead, embrace simplicity, mindfulness and compassion. Be grateful for the people in your life because even if they don’t understand you, they are there for you. They love you and this is the ultimate understanding because they are not trying to change you.

Appreciate having them in your life and never feel alone again.

Life becomes better and simpler once you implement these things. Change your attitude and you’ll be unstoppable.

Dealing with not being understood this way is noble, beneficial to everyone and makes the world a better place.

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Lidiya K

Lidiya K

Author, blogger and podcaster in the fields of self-improvement and life hacking. Creator of Let's Reach Success.
Full-time freelance writer. Lifestyle designer.
Lidiya K

19 Comments

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  1. Marvelous post! I am going to post this on my facebook and twitter.
    The message you presented is universal. There is not one person on this beautiful planet that has not felt the things you described. And if we could all practice the 8 suggestions you made, the vibration on this planet would skyrocket over night.
    Brilliant Post!

  2. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I’ll have to read your post a few times again over the next few days because I want it to all sink in. For now I’ll remember that not being understood does not mean you are alone!

  3. Simply a beautiful post! One of my favorite Christian prayers asks All That Is to “grant that I may never seek to be consoled, as to console. To be understood, as to understand. To be loved, as to love”. When we remove the focus from feeding our selfish ego, and move it to the concerns of our fellow humans, we are so much more richly rewarded than the fleeting, hollow, and temporary satisfaction of self-interest.

    Neediness is an unquenchable fire that burns with eternal disappointment.

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