Before we truly want something, we need to define it, to understand its nature and thus figure out how to reach it.
The same applies to success.

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We want to make big steps. To set a huge goal, achieve it and move on to the next one. To be ahead of others. To succeed by reaching the top of a career, winning the big money, having a big family…

We forget, however, that success starts small. It is real when it happens slowly. When we can enjoy it and experience it now, without aiming at the next thing on our list of desires.

For a success to be real, we should do a few things first:

  • let go of goals and plans;
  • let go of competition;
  • go slowly;
  • don’t always crave for more or ‘the most’ of everything;
  • learn how to reward ourselves;
  • enjoy the process;
  • connect with ourselves more instead of losing our identity under the pressure of a successful life;
  • let go of perfection.

Success is already here.

I’ve noticed that most people define success as something in the obscure future. And even if they achieve it, it still doesn’t feel like succeeding and they keep seeking what will make them happier, contented, successful.

But it never comes.

It never comes, because it’s already here.

Everywhere around us. Success lies deep into every good deed of ours, every positive person and thought we let into our life, into every inner realization, peaceful moment and simple act.

As I’ve said many times, it’s all a matter of perspective. We just need to open our eyes for the truth, beauty, inspiration, love and perfection around us.

That explains why people who have less are happier than those owning more. Why a zen monk is more contented than a teenager who has everything he wants. Why a poor writer is loved more by his humble wife than a rich businessman. Why a person with one book in his library has more knowledge than the one who doesn’t know who he is. And so on.

Happiness is an inner state. And so is success. We shouldn’t seek them outside, but cherish them inside of us, share them with others and feel blessed every day.

Thrive in a new way.

Many agree that we are born to thrive, to achieve more, to have goals. To reach new heights and to want to touch the sky. To become the best in everything.

I don’t.

Well, I did think so until a year or two ago, but not anymore. Because I didn’t find any contentment in all that chasing, all these goals most of which were never reached, all the disappointments, hardships. That kind of lifestyle just isn’t for me.

I still think we should get better, let’s just make it in small steps – let’s aim to get 1% better every day. And let’s make the process purposeful – if we find one or more good reasons to make any changes, we’ll be more motivated and it will be all worth it. So if you want to achieve something, do it for yourself, or to help others, to make the world a better place. Not to prove someone wrong, not to earn money, respect or fame.

Thrive more inwardly rather than outwardly. Do it by letting go of things that blur your clear vision of the world, by showing compassion and love, by forgiving yourself, understanding your desires and ignoring your fake needs. And stop trying to succeed by having more belongings, earning more money only so that you can buy more stuff, making others envy you, or too have a more luxurious life.

Only the inner improvements in your life can satisfy you. Becoming emotionally free, making peace with yourself, to love and be loved, to be inspired and create. This is what can bring harmony, contentedness and happiness in your life.

Things are perfect.

Stop looking for the perfect life! You got it already!

You’ll never have the best day in your life, until you realize it’s today. Until you see all the beauty, opportunities and magic the present gives you.

You’ll never look perfectly, until you realize you’re perfect just the way you are now.

You will never create the best work of your life, until you see the perfection in what’s in your hands right now.

What I’m trying to say is that things are perfect just the way they are. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to improve them. It just means that tomorrow they will be different. But still perfect.

Finding the success in disguise.

As I mentioned, it’s already here. It lies in:

  • all the things you’ve achieved so far;
  • hard work;
  • your experience;
  • the things you have;
  • the people who love you;
  • those you’ve inspired or made smile;
  • the things you’ve created;
  • your good deeds;
  • your positive attitude;
  • the hardships you’ve been through;
  • your belief;
  • your strengths;
  • your failures;
  • taking chances;
  • when you give something a try;
  • when you realize important things;
  • overcoming your fears;
  • not listening to your ego and egoistic desires;
  • every time you’ve won a little inner battle with yourself;
  • every time you made a compromise;
  • being grateful;
  • going out of your comfort zone;
    and so on.

My point is that you have more than 100 small successes each day. And if you notice every one of them, appreciate it and recognize it, you will no longer feel the need to prove yourself or to desperately seek fast success and happiness.

β€œSuccess in life is founded upon attention to the small things rather than to the large things; to the every day things nearest to us rather than to the things that are remote and uncommon.”
Booker T. Washington

Image by Sherman Geronimo-Tan @Flickr

Lidiya K

Lidiya K

Author, blogger and podcaster in the fields of self-improvement and life hacking. Creator of Let's Reach Success.
Full-time freelance writer. Lifestyle designer.
Lidiya K

50 Comments

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  1. From my writings for what it is worth!
    Success.
    Do the best you can and be content with that. That is success!
    Ξ©

  2. Here is another:
    Success & Failure. (1)
    There are no successes and failures in life, only achievements – stepping
    stones.
    Ξ©

  3. Just one more because it may help someone?
    Success & Failure. (2)
    To make a modest living from one’s knowledge and ability is success; to use
    one’s knowledge and ability to exploit others is failure.
    Ξ©

  4. We must be on the same wavelength because this is exactly my point in the blog I published today, “Good with Cats Does Not Guarantee Good Parent”, which can be seen at cardamonefive.wordpress.com.

    As a new mom, I had all these standards for my experiences with my children, and those standards got in the way of our bond. They made me unhappy. I’m certain they made my children feel pressured and unhappy, and they impeded our interactions.

    Now, I try to be the best mom I can be without those standards, which were inherited from my parents, and their parents, and so on.

    Let’s all try to be present, and appreciate what we have, instead of some future intangible which will never live up to our expectations anyway.

    Best regards,
    Elizabeth

    1. Thank for the great comment. I respect the goal you have for being a good parent. Unfortunately, it is a afrequent mistake to repeat our parents’ upbringing.
      I’m sure you’ll do just fine. Good luck!

  5. Blessings Lidiya,

    Girl, I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s like this for many people, open my eyes to your heart Lord, I want to see you.

    I would like to share this with you which sums up what you have said. Proverbs 16:3-Commit your work to the Lord and your thoughts will be established (your plans will succeed).

    Lidiya, wonderful post I must say, really touched my heart. Many, many people would be truly amazed how different they would feel if only they “Let go and Let God.”

    Well my friend I pray you keep up the inspiring work, many blessings to you.

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m glad you still visit my blog and read my posts. It means a lot.
      You too keep inspiring people with your passion!

  6. Lidiya,
    Powerful words. Especially the part about striving for inner improvements. And to love and be loved. Words to live by.
    Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s making a world of difference (especially to me)

  7. Great post, Lidiya!

    Have you read The Tao of Pooh, by any chance? Some of this stuff you write about reminds me a bit of Taoism and bits of that book (which is one of my favorite books on philosophy, haha).

    In any case, I will keep reading! πŸ™‚ Thanks!

    In Earnest,

    King Pollux ~ Adam Kristofer Walkingstick King

    1. Thanks! Glad you liked it.
      I’m interestend in Taoism and read about it but haven’t heard of that exact book. I’ll definitely check it out. Thanks a lot πŸ™‚

        1. I read about it and even though I know I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, I can say it’s amazing and exactly the style of books I like. I’m now reading Tao Te Ching and I guess this will be a good way to get into things and be ready for this book. I’ll definitely read it soon.

          1. Oh yea, the Tao Te Ching was a hard one for me because its so enigmatic. Chuang Tzu is much more fun of a read, I would recommend that as a followup to those other books if you ever get around to it!
            I could talk about Taoism and philosophy allllll day haha

          2. Yes, it’s not an easy reading. That’s why most people read it again and again and every time they understand it better and in a new way.
            It’s indeed an interesting subject. I’ll continue exploring it πŸ™‚

          3. Indeed!
            I was very into the ancient Greek Stoics and when I came across Taoism I realized that the two completely unrelated philosophies are almost identical in their basic concepts.
            Pretty cool for me when I can draw that kind of connection. πŸ˜‰

  8. Brilliant post! Everything you mentioned is absolutely true. When one reach for success within oneself, it is always there. Sadly that many people thrive for outward success and find it, but without inner success and self-contentment, they still aren’t happy.

  9. As someone feeling a great deal of anxiety regarding their future, this post was very helpful in helping me to center myself and realize that I don’t have to worry about where I’m going to be months and years from now. All I need to do is make sure I’m happy now and enjoy the process. Thank you! Very insightful post πŸ™‚

  10. Great post! I think we all need to remember our small day-in-day-out successes. It’s easy to just think that the things we do everyday are a given and not a small success, I know I do it all the time. Thanks for reminding me of all the success I am able to achieve everyday. It’s important to “enjoy the process” as you say. Thanks for sharing!

  11. I love your article about Success. It’s been used, written and rewritten, spoken and lived but thank you for writing it again because its the only way we can remind everyone that its possible and achievable. Stay awesome!

  12. Success without fulfillment is failure. I love the message here. A lot of information pertaining to the well-being of the individual. I, myself, am a very successful man. Although I lack monetary success, that is only the garnish to my already successful cocktail called life.

      1. Absolutely. I can see you and I have common interests as far pursuing happiness, and sharing that journey. Kudos to your efforts and happy blogging.

  13. Nice, inspirational blog! I think too often we judge ourselves through the lens of how we compare to our peers. We see their “success” on facebook, and think that we aren’t doing enough, making enough, or having enough. But that’s only a snapshot into their lives. Bottom line, if we aren’t happy in our own lives we won’t ever be able to reach whatever success we are seeking. You can’t compare yourself to others, just be happy in your own life. You only get one shot at this life, it’s not a dress rehearsal, so do what you want.
    Thanks for the like too!

  14. “You’ll never have the best day of your life, until you realize that it’s today.”
    I can’t tell you how comforting, motivating, and inspiring this post was to me. Thanks for visiting my blog, and thank you for all the wonderful advice you’re giving. You’re really making an impact. Keep up the good work! πŸ˜€

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